Using a fork, and the grill scraper, i fished it out of the flame, and set it back on the mounts. It was at this point, that the regulator hose started to make this really weird hissing noise, kinda like maybe the propane was leaking.. and the grill was lit.

That's when i snapped.

Turned off the grill... Closed the propane valve.... Said a few curse words and went back in to my apartment to find the receipt for the grill.

I waited 5 minutes for the thing to cool off, disconnected the tank, removed 4 screws, and pulled the stupid thing apart, threw it into the trunk of my car, and headed to Walmart. I'm pretty sure my neighbors think i'm crazy.

Once there, i stuffed the whole thing in a shopping cart, and headed for the returns desk. I wasn't sure if they would give me my money back or not, but i was sure that the grill was not coming home with me. Whether i was reimbursed or not, Walmart was getting this piece of junk back.

After waiting in the return line for a couple of minutes, it was finally my turn. I wheeled the shopping cart full of "Bargain Grill" to the counter and smiled at the returns girl, as i said,

"I would like to return this grill. It's a piece of junk".

She laughed and asked for the receipt, which i gave her. She then proceeded to walk out from behind the counter to inspect the pieces of grill which were stuffed in the shopping cart. I assured her that every last piece was in that cart, as there was no way i was keeping any of it. She laughed, returned to the register, and gave me my money back.

HALLELUJAH!!

I felt giddy as i left the place. Like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

It was awesome.

I then got into my car, drove around 300 feet, parked my car, walked into Home Depot, and purchased the $199 Fiesta Maximus 400 Grill.

It's huge.

Way more BBQ than i actually need. But i don't care. I'm done with bargain grills, and this puppy looked solid.

Unfortunately, after i payed for it, a helpful Home Depot employee and i wheeled the thing out to my car, only to find that the darn thing would not fit in my car.

More cursing.

We wheeled the thing back inside.

At this point i started to call all my friends looking for help. Luckily i have nice friends with mini vans, and the MacKenzies were more than happy to lend me their van to pick up my new BBQ. They were familiar with the problems i had with my former grill, and wanted to help out in any way they could.

Finally, i get the new Maximus 400 back to my apartment, and open the box to discover, that unlike the "T Bone Sahara Deluxe", this new grill is not partially assembled. It took me three hours to put the partially assembled piece of crap grill together, i figured it would take me two days to put this totally not assembled giganto grill together.

It took me 30 minutes.

Awesome.

The Maximus 400 is sturdy, and the grill doesn't move when you cook on it. Even though it cost more than twice as much as my former grill, its ok. You know why?

I feel no hatred when i look at this grill.

None at all.

That is a very good thing.