1. Ben Mulroney.
Horrible host of Canadian Idol, and some lame Canadian entertainment show. Oh, and his daddy used to be Prime Minister of Canada.

Reason for punching in the face: I'm not sure what it is about this guy, maybe it's his hair, maybe it's his horrible interviewing skills. Whatever it is, he's on the list... I'm pretty sure it's the hair.

Chances of me actually punching him in the face: Pretty good, in fact, there was a close call a couple of months ago when he was on the island filming for Canadian Idol. Apparently, he had just eaten at a local restaurant that my co-workers and i were having lunch at.

2. Paris Hilton.
Spoiled rich kid who is famous for being famous.

I'd like to think that i would never punch a girl in the face. I'd really like to think that. But when i see Paris Hilton, i'm going to have to punch her.

Reasons for punching in the face: I may be wrong, but i think she actually has the ability to make others become stupid like her. It's like a super power or something. If you read about her, or watch her on tv, i believe you actually lose brain cells, and become stupid, and for some reason, that makes me want to punch her in the face.

Chances of me actually punching her in the face: Slim to none. For one thing, we don't run in the same social circles. Secondly, she is so skinny i would probably miss. And third, she probably has very large security guards that would punch me in the face first.

3. That dude with the beard on the Canadian Tire commercials.

If you are Canadian, you know exactly who i mean. If you don't know who i mean, consider yourself lucky.

Reasons for punching in the face: His smug knowledge of power tools, and maybe his beard.

Chances of actually punching him in the face: Better than average. He lives in the same country as me, so there is a possibilty that we might meet at some point in life.

4. Jared the Subway guy.
He lost a lot of weight eating sub sandwhiches. Now he's a celebrity.

Reason for punching in the face: See above.

Chances of me actually punching him in the face: Apprently, he is touring around the country speaking to school kids about healthy eating, so there is a chance he might show up here. I don't eat at Subway that often, but i do every now and then, so i suppose if he's still eating subs, he might end up getting punched in the face. By me.

5. Every single one of the new Much Music VJ's.
I used to love Much Music. I watched it all the time. Now everytime i switch it on, there is a ridiculously obnoxious VJ yelling at the screen, usually trying to sell me a cell phone or new sneakers.

Reason for punching in the face: They are all loud, way too good looking, and obnoxious. Plus they play crappy videos.

Chances of me actually punching one of them in the face: I'm planning a trip to Toronto next week to visit some friends. We may have to avoid actually going out into the city lest someone gets punched in the face.

6. Judge Judy.
Old lady judge who has her own TV show.

Reason for punching in the face: Possibly the most annoying woman on the face of the planet. Plus, she always interupts people when they are talking, and that's just rude.

Chances of me actually punching her in the face: Not very likely. I dont think i would recognize her without her judicious robes on. But don't think i wouldn't punch her just because she is an old lady. She's on the list, she's getting punched.

7. Fred Durst.
Lead singer of the horrible rap/rock band Limp Bizkit

Reason for punching in the face: He asked for it. Plus he got to make out with Halle Berry in their newest video. What's up with that?

Chances of me actually punching him in the face: Not good. You couldnt pay me to go to a Limp Bizkit concert and i doubt he will ever be coming to play on my Island.

8. 50/Fiddy Cent.
Rapper full of bullet holes.

Reason for punching in the face: His ability to convince the rest of the world that he is a good "rapper". Dude, i don't even like rap music, but this guy sounds like he's got a mouth full of marbles when he's "rapping". Plus he grabs his crotch way too much when performing.

Chances of me actually punching him in the face: Nil. This dude has killed people. I'm not taking any chances with him.

9. Dr Phil.
The guy that Oprah made into a hugely famous psuedo pop psychology guru.

Reason for punching in the face: Too many to list. Let's just go with his penchant for creating new and inspiring sayings. Like this one for instance: " Know and embrace your passions. They are your core. They make you blossom." I bet you want to punch him now too.

Chances of me actually punching him in the face: If i ever end up on his show, i'm sure he will try to pull out one of his "Dr Philisms" to convince me not to punch him. But while he is in the middle of spewing one out, i'll punch him in his big ole southern face.